An anniversary and time marches on.

I mean really, where does the time go? Seems like a lot of stuff lately which makes me reflect. This past weekend was my nephew's wedding. Why I remember when he was just 2 yrs old. I think I took pictures of him in leaves at about this time of year. Now he's married. He has married a nice young lady. They both work for a good company in the cities. The only down side to it all, they are both quite Republican. I/we had so much fun at the wedding. It was in a very small rural church and the reception at the State park. Nice and simple really. Not too much for family. Speaking of family... I have a great one.
These two young kids (well not really kids, both in their 30s) but kids non-the-less put this wedding together on a very limited budget. The father of the bride didn't come through with the flowers, but he managed to put some nice arrangements together once he found Hy-Vee in Rochester at about 11pm the night before! But we all rallied round the bride and assured her it would work out. But you do realize the little things that need to get done that nobody thought of. Like scrambling for a table for gifts and a basket for cards. Not to mention pulling together some tablecloths for said table. Where to put the guest book and "memory" board.  My brother David and Ms K put the champagne glasses together and served. Otherwise it would have sat there. You can see how lots of $$$ can be spent in no time. The whole family rallied to make it a success and also worked clean-up detail the next day. They had good DJs and the music selection was good. I must say that Ms K and I did some serious dancing!! Ooooo my hips the next day. Damn they aren't quite as flexible. It was also very much fun to see BP and Ms A having a good time. They both looked very nice. Good looking and very handsome!!
The next day, Ms A had to work but BP really wanted to go on a walk into the woods with his moms. Actually, Ms K and BP both wanted to show me where they had been fishing the week we were camping. It was catch and release but they both had fish they caught and they wanted to show me where that was. Sunday was warm but the hiking was nice and the scenery beautiful not to mention the company. Thoughts now of when BP was younger and we went hiking a lot. It makes me feel so good that he still very much likes doing things with us. He calls at least once a week if not twice, just to check in as he says. Ms A met us later and we went to eat at the Elba House and had a great time. Talking about the wedding and the weekend in general.
Now here I am reflecting on time and pondering the fact that Ms K and I have been together 33yrs. Now that my friends is a long time. But not really, just a midpoint isn't it? I probably should write a piece on how  we ended up together and here. I really didn't give her much of a choice. I pretty much told her I was coming back to MN after my time in the Navy and if she wanted to come that was it. I wasn't going to wait around. Did I love her at the time and consider it a lifetime commitment? Not really. She loved me but I don't think I realized I loved her until maybe a year later and then one night it was like, my god I think I love this woman and I want her to stick around. Then at some point we bought rings and one day we took them out and she said, "Will you be my friend forever?" "Yes, and you mine?" "Yes. Okay then there you have it." It hasn't always been easy. She has quite a temper and I don't spend $ wisely. But we've learned and we've grown. There were trying times while raising BP. Ms K is type A and I think finished in the top 5 of a HS class of over 600. School for me was so-so. We have a son who is very talented but did not strive to excel in school and pretty much drove her crazy. I nearly got an ulcer trying to keep a semblance of order and sanity as he got thru school. To both of our credit, he has turned out to be a very nice young man. Still looking to find his way, but a very nice and responsible young man. And so, time does indeed march on. Saw one of my best friends last night and realized it had been waaaay too long since last we spoke. Out here in the woods is nice, but not as easy as it should be to see old friends. As I say that though, that's really a lousy excuse. It really is just a matter of making and taking the time...because it doesn't stop...it just marches on. WL

Has it really been since the 11th of Sept that I was last in here? I can't believe that. But yes, it's true. Where in the hell did the month of Sept. go? The calendar says Oct but that can't be! Nooooooo!!!!
So much time has passed that I don't even know what topics to cover. Ms K and I were quite busy helping a friend build a big brick oven. We learned to pour concrete. Just one of those handy little things it's nice to know living out here in the woods like we do. You never know when you might have to pour a slab or two somewhere. With the help we've given him over the summer I think we're set with pizzas and bread for life.
We helped on a Habitat for Humanity House and working there I learned to hang siding. I even got to use my very own electric drill. I didn't just have to hold it or hand it to someone...I got to use it on my own. Nails in and out, all by myself. I learned the hard way that the siding has to be locked in or things get all out of whack and then you have to take down all the siding you've put up and lock in that which you've missed and proceed up from there. I'm glad I learned that early on in the project. The young lady who is going to be living in the house with her husband and son was very nice. She was up on the ladder and scaffolding with me. She proceeded to tell me about the 3 jobs she is working and how she coordinates them all. I didn't complain about anything, all day.
Last week Ms K and I went camping at Whitewater SP. We got in very late on Sunday night. Set the tent up and went to bed. Next morning I had to call and check to see that I didn't have jury duty. I had to drive to where I could get phone reception. Car dead as a door-nail, panic. Can you go to jail for skipping your duty???  I rode my bike to the ranger station and carried back a charger to get it started. Success on the car and no jury duty. It proceeded to rain the whole day...we slept the afternoon away as the night's sleep had been shitty to say the least. Woke to pouring rain and wetness in the tent. Waited for the rains to cease and then got things dried out and put together right. It seems that if you set your tent up in the dark...some things aren't put on right. Darn! But we were now going to stay dry. BP showed up. Can't keep him from a tent site if he knows where there is one to park himself. I knew he'd come so I brought out the steaks and we had a great meal. I had one cooler full of nothing but beer.Oh, there was some Amaretto in there as well as some Baileys. We slept great and stayed dry.
Next day I had to take my Mom to the clinic in the AM and was going to meet her at ten. She lives on the family farm which is about 12 mi. from the park. Car dead as a door-nail, panic! Can you go to jail for parental neglect??? Rode my bike to the Ranger station with the "second verse, same as the first". Charger in hand back to car. Oh, called my mother from the ranger station. She came and picked me up. Car started. Well, we can't keep doing this so Ms K decided to take the car and go home, get the battery receipt and get a replacement. Long story short, it took her 2 tries to get a battery that worked. The store dude gave her one that didn't fit the first time. Although she told him it was not going to work, hell what does a woman know anyways. Oh that reminds me on the first day I asked the lady at the ranger station about the charger and she said she didn't know how to use it but ,"Don't you have a man with you? He'll know." I left with no comment. Car battery charged up and Ms K returned to the camp but not until about 5:30 pm. The whole day was shot with those damn batteries. More Amaretto and Baileys...a good night's sleep.
Wed. arrived and was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. The valley was beautiful. We had hauled the bikes with us so we took them off and went on a ride. At about the 7 mi mark, here comes mom with a lunch she had made. We told her that we'd meet her at the site. We rode about 2 mi more and then headed back. Back at the site were not only mom but BP and his lady Ms A. Mom rolled out this warm, scrumptious quiche, warm squash and then apple brownies with warm, rich, sinfully delicious caramel sauce. OMG it was soooo good. Ms K and BP went fishing for the afternoon. I, my mom and Ms A sat by the fire and either read or slept. They eventually left and I just read and waited for the fisherman to get back. When they returned it was time for brats. Yummy!
Thursday started with me waking in a panic to the sound of raindrops. Shit, I did not want things in the screen tent to get wet. Up and out to shut all sides of the screen. Back to sleep for 2 more hours and then the weather was much nicer.....for a while. But alas, the WINDS picked up and if it was not staked down, it would have been bad. Pack out day and we did, JUST as the heavens opened again. Rain, not sun. Before we left to take a shower, we decided by golly since we have these bikes, we're going to ride them again. We did, in a steady rain just to say we did and then, finally home!! Camping is never just set up the tent and laze around. It is always an adventure of some sort! It was so very beautiful. I love this time of year. I love the colors, I love the smells. I love the cool crisp mornings and nights. Good sleeping weather.
Oh my, just to catch up has taken a lot of time. I'd better get to bed and maybe continue tomorrow. So far the car has continued to start. I still have the tent to open up and clean but the dishes are clean and put away. Man I have to get to bed, but dang it, Faye Ray just threw up so gotta clean that up. And on that note I bid adieu. WL

Remembering...

Today is of course a day of historical significance. There are many things that are being written about and lots of emotions felt by all, that have been, and are being shared. At the church service this morning some of us were talking about the events that have marked generations. For my parents it was Pearl Harbor, for me it was JFK,Bobby Kennedy and MLK. Then there was Challenger, Oklahoma City and  9/11. All events involving violence of some sort. How sad isn't it that these are the things that bring us together? Do we ever celebrate the wonderful events that bring us together? But then again, can you really think of any "mass" happy events that occur? Perhaps it is the events that involve sadness that cause us to bond because at times like that we put ourselves in other people's shoes and think,"Man what if that were me? What if that were my partner, my child, my family that had been killed?" We do the same thing with every disaster. The tornado might have been here. The fires could easily start near here. The happy things occur in small places and are felt by smaller groups because it is the small people who are doing the cleaning up and helping each other. It is in small towns and communities where the true caring comes out. There is no major press coverage.
For me it was a day with many emotions. A church service filled with remembrances but also a celebration of youth and ministry and a wish for peace everywhere. There was much music and singing,followed by a picnic and a sense of community. Then it was off to my sister's for a wedding shower. Time with family and friends. Loud sisters and confusing conversation....what else is new?! After everyone had left, I and Ms K had some time with my sister Janet. Today would have been her son Karl's 30th birthday. My other sisters had remembered and brought roses for the day. We drove to the cemetery and wished him a Happy Birthday and left our roses. We shared some thoughts and some memories.
It's a crazy world isn't it? Happy, sad, happy, sad and so it goes on and on. Would that we could all live together and get along. The reality is we know that it is never going to happen. We can and should keep hoping that it would be so. To give up is not good, but it is easy. Now that I'm writing this and thinking about it more, isn't it interesting that we ALL could be on the same page for one day. We ALL remembered. We ALL listened. We ALL loved our country. We ALL wanted peace and happiness.
And tomorrow will start a new week and things will go back to the way they were. We won't forget, but that sense of togetherness will be gone. So does that make me happy or sad? I guess I'd have to say a little of both. Sad that the sense of "camaraderie" is gone but happy in a way because we can find it within ourselves to go on. Life isn't easy and it does feel rather schizophrenic at times. Happy, sad,happy sad...or a little of both. You decide.... WL

Visiting Elderly Ladies

I warned you that I might not do as well at this as I had envisioned. The whole idea behind having a blog is probably that you keep it updated fairly regularly. There is stuff happening everyday which warrants some thought I would say. Well it wasn't like I didn't know myself. The day will come when a person can probably speak and it will be typed somewhere remotely or even thought and then typed somewhere. Scary shit wouldn't you say?
Truthfully, there is always something somewhere or something that makes me think,I really should take the time to write these thoughts down. Why not do it then? Something else always pushes the time aside. But enough whining about what I can and can't get done.
Yesterday and today I visited with some older folks that are members of the church I attend here in Z-town. One of our pastors is away and I volunteered to help out by making these visits. A good step for me, because sometimes I say I'm going to do something and I actually just kind of let the idea fade away. This time I followed through. I visited 3 women. The youngest was 82. She remembered me from years ago when she was able to attend church. She asked about Ms K and the G-man. She knew that I had retired and asked all kinds of questions as to what I was doing now. I kept thinking to myself, I sincerely hope I can remember as much at that age. Sadly I know that I won't, because I have a hard time now remembering what I did earlier in the week. Ask me about the first of the month and it's all gone!!
Today I visited with a lady who is 101. She will be 102 the end of Dec. She is living in her own home, fixes her own meals and gets around quite well with her walker. She has lived in Z-town since age 9. She was not familiar with my name so I had to give her a background on where I grew up and such. She proceeded to tell me about her sons and grandchildren and great grandchildren. She had very strong opinions on how children are being raised today. Particularly troubling for her was the fact that the moms are working and not raising their children. They think somebody else is doing it and nobody is doing it. It bothered her a great deal. And another thing that irked her is that they(kids today) are not taught to save their money. They have to spend,spend, spend. That's why we are in the mess we are in! What could I say? She has a point about the money. The mothers working, well......that's another issue. I did so enjoy listening to her and relating some of her history. I asked her what invention or change she thought had influenced or changed the world in her lifetime and she thought it was electricity. Again, sharp as a tack. Limited vision but surprisingly good hearing. But then I have a loud voice so that helps.
And finally lady # 3 I visited at the nursing home. She it turns out is 96. Is blind but again, decent hearing. She told me about her daughter and grandchildren. We talked about the president having visited our town and the excitement that brought. Again, had to give a personal history. She, it turns out, is of German heritage as am I so that was nice. Of course in all visits, they related their health histories but not to the extreme. This last lady said that it was hard sometimes to face each day because all those she knew have died. That kind of made me feel sad. She too had ideas on kids today but not quite as strong as the previous.She was definitely against the war and thought there were just too many people in the world and that we lived too long. That comment prompted the previous on her friends and family dying and having few left. She felt the change that was significant was the technology. Because of that, the post offices will close! Needless to say in all these cases the time went quickly. My oh my, it was a pleasure to listen to them.
With these visits then, one can be reflective. Have I lived a decent life? Have I made my contributions? When I am that age, will I be up on current affairs? Will I still be with it? Will I be able to carry on a decent conversation? Of course we can't see into the future. We just have to do the best we can right now and try to store those memories so they can be told again...someday. I'm also banking on the fact that I have friends and family that will visit me and remember to keep me a part of the human race. My goal with all of this is to visit these ladies again and to keep doing puzzles and such to keep my mind sharp. The history these ladies had and told was amazing. We should all be so blessed to have it together that long. I'm banking on it!! WL

Pizza Night on the Farm

Just returned from a very nice evenings with friends. We drove to Stockholm, WI to have "Pizza on the Farm". What's the big deal you say. The answer my dear friends is "atmosphere". This place is probably only known because of word of mouth. No, I think there may have been something in a paper somewhere about it. But really, you take some county roads that wander up above Stockholm, they turn to gravel and then to the farm. What is unique about the place is that they cook the pizzas in these 3, I think there were, brick ovens. You get there early and claim a spot to set up your place to eat. You put down a blanket or table, chairs, whatever you feel like. You bring all your own drinks, utensils, whatever you want for the meal. Then you order your pizzas. Depending on the crowd you wait anywhere from 30" or more. Get the food and then eat with your friends, drink your beverage and enjoy the out of doors. Today the terrible heat had dissipated and there were no mosquitoes. Friend Dave had ordered so I never really saw what the options were. The pizzas were great. One had lots of veggies on it, spinach, peppers, onions and beets. There were some other veggies on it too I think. Boy oh boy were they good. All of them...good. Oh, did I mention how good everything was??!! I can tell you though they are not cheap. 20+/ pizza but worth  it I would say.  This place is only open on Tues. from 4:30 - 8. And they do it every Tues. year round. We talked about doing it in the winter. Wouldn't that be interesting?
Baby Prince returned from the Boundary Waters after having gone with the youth from the church. He was a chaperone. From how he talked and talked, he had a great time. Caught lots of fish, had some nice young men in his group. I asked him what his favorite times were and he went on to say, "Skipping rocks. I could skip rocks for a long time. I skipped rocks every night that I could. I just love skipping rocks." I can tell you that he learned from the best, me that is. I too love skipping rocks.Whenever we camped we found rocks to skip and he always tried and eventually did beat me for the number of skips. So much fun. It takes time to be a good rock skipper, that I can tell you!! The other favorite part was the fishing, catching so many and just having that thrill. He told a story of a HUGE one that got away....or so he claims. I love listening to him talk about his adventures. He got home on Sat, so Ms AJ of course beat feet out here to see him. We had a nice meal, good wine and good conversation.
Thank goodness the heat has let up because Ms K and I are going to cut some trees for some friends tomorrow. It shouldn't take too long. We're planning to get an early start. So for this week I'm living up to being a Lady in the Woods. Always love starting the chainsaw. Love the smell of cut wood. Gotta stop and just take a deep breath. Crazy I know.
Other goings on. I'm getting some produce from my garden but not like it should. In particular I have thick, thick, bushy, string beans, but have only harvested a small portion. I'm starting to think it's related to honey bees and their demise. I don't know, but things aren't producing like they should. Lots of blossoms but no fruit. Same story for the cucumbers. My grass on the other hand keeps on going. Need to mow again.
Tonight is one of those nights where I could probably go on and on but I'd better wrap it up. Let this pizza and beer wear off. BP called just to say hey. I love it when he does that. Well, I'm off to the couch to watch the Twins get beat and then to the bed. Sweet dreams all....WL

Monday's Musings

Today is one of who knows how many where the heat is unbearable. It started about 2 days ago and will be around for awhile. Doesn't matter that I'm here in the woods surrounded by trees, it's still damn hot. This may be just a bit out of the ordinary for Minnesota. This usually occurs about the time of the state fair. I am not a lover of this type of misery, but will graciously not whine about it. Big of me I know. 

In looking at my past post, I was really feeling sorry for myself I would say. I have typed the part about figuring out what it is that will fulfill me in retirement and I have pasted it on the cupboard as a reminder that this new adventure, is indeed an adventure. I'm feeling good today. It's a Monday and the whole week is before me. I'm not sure what it will bring but there are possibilities. I know that on Wed I'm going with one of my sisters to spend time with my mom. That is always a good time. My mom likes to go on drives and so do I and my sister, so we may take a tour of who knows where. 

Have attended 2 musicals in the past week. Saw "9 to 5 the Musical" on Wed and then saw "West Side Story" yesterday afternoon. Talk about bringing back memories. The music for the first was okay. Dolly Parton wrote the music. I think what made this musical memorable was because of the movie in 1980. There is so much history that comes to mind when you see a movie such as this. Do any of the young women today take the time to reflect or even explore what gave them the opportunities they have today? Sure the movie was a comedy but it was quite reflective of the times. My,my how far we have come. "West Side..." what can you say? Beautiful music, beautiful story. Romeo and Juliet set to the 60's only Juliet lives. That musical is timeless. In listening to "America" I couldn't help but think of what many immigrants think today. A land of opportunity. The struggles portrayed then are the same struggles as now. The conflicts the same. I suppose you could ask why can't we all get along? Why does there have to be bloodshed. The reality is that there is no easy answer. There are going to be haves and have nots. How do we help each other? Thoughts like this always get me off on a tangent. I'm going to stay focused. What was my focus anyway? 

The here and now. My gardens are doing fantastic. Zucchini this week and soon beans. Have lots of lettuce and onions. Tomatoes are looking great too. I will post pics soon. Flowers are beautiful and uplifting. Twins are doing well in baseball. I shall end on a good note. Pretty, I feel pretty, oh so pretty....!! WL

Retirement Struggles

It's been 6 months now since last I cared for a neonate and longer that I held one or fed one. It's been a hard week for me or maybe it's been going on 2 now. It would be very foolish for me to say at this point that retirement was not the way to go. We (Ms K) and I talked about it. We had spent time together as the unit where I worked had been slow. I began the letting go part. And so when it took place...freedom. Well, that's how it would appear. Funny how different things begin to occupy your time and thoughts.

I would imagine that everyone that approaches retirement has their dreams and thoughts about how it will occur and what will happen next. The reality is that it doesn't necessarily go like you thought it would. Right, no obligations to a specific work day per say but that doesn't mean everything else grinds to a halt or ceases to have a schedule either. 

I'm pretty sure that 6 mo is really not time enough to get my head straightened out. But I sure am having a hard time of it right now. I thought that I would just like to be on my own and just be here in the woods. Alas, somewhere in the past 30 years I got hooked and have thrived on being around people, talking, laughing, teaching, sharing. I've had lots on my mind lately but right at the top is missing my friends. I've met with several for lunch or coffee and they might not know it but they have given me peace and after being with them I can go on. We talk, I listen and I feel good. If I've been in a funk, seeing them has helped. The decision I made was the right one, but I never,ever imagined it would be so hard. Ms K didn't seem to have a hard time. But then again she did not work with the awesome folks I did nor in such a neat environment and with the support I had. That accounts for a lot of this I know. Sometimes when I'm talking to my friends they ask me if I want to go back. I don't know, but I sometimes think about it. What is it exactly that I miss? I really don't know. Friends, that's what I miss. I have them but not seeing them is hard. 

Now as I'm writing this and thinking, maybe what I miss is the comfortable feeling that I had. I knew what I was doing and I was good at it. Now the challenges I face are the opposite. I have no clue what I want to do. And the thought of doing something new is scary.

We/I knew when we both retired that there would be changes financially and we had talked about it. But I was not prepared mentally for the significant changes that meant. Bills still have to be paid. Ms K is still working about 2-3 days/mo. While I'm not, I am starting to think about it. The extra $ would be nice and I really think that I should be doing more with my time than planting flowers and mowing the lawn. I honestly thought, wow, no work...let's do this, let's go here,we've got the time. The reality is that these things take money and while it's there, that money also must be available when we both no longer work. So even though we have it saved, I can not spend it all at once just doing and going. And that my friends is my issue...delayed satisfaction. I know, I know, there are projects that I want to do. I will, I swear!! I'm just having a hell of a time adjusting!!! What should I do? There will be a new Kwik Trip opening in Z-town this fall. Now there would be a change. I'm starting to look at volunteer things as well. 

So in writing this I start to feel a bit better. I have been so messed up. Sad and mad and miserable. On the inside... and that's not healthy now is it? I'm starting to feel better already. That's really what writing this blog is about. Not only sharing but a way for me to sort things out as well. Well, maybe this one time. It really shouldn't be a place for me to whine. It should be a place for me to shine!! Give me time folks, give me time. I did find this in another blog and by golly I think it explains what I've been going through.
When you leave your job, it’s not just the salary you are leaving behind.  You are leaving behind other things that you may have enjoyed, things that may have engaged and fulfilled you.  In retirement, you have to figure out what it is besides money that you got from your job and find a way to get that on your own. 
Now why couldn't I have just figured that out by myself? But there it is, nicely said. So now I know what the struggles are. I just have to find a way, and the way, my way.
I should just go cut some wood. That would probably help too. WL

Visiting Rug-rats!

Here I sit, enjoying a few moments of "cool" time. It has been unbelievably hot and I don't do well in heat like this. My son and partner know all too well that I tend to get quite ornery when it gets hot like this. My temper gets short and I really kind of turn into a not very fun person to be around. Thank goodness it won't last long. The heat that is!! My sister Laura is having a camp-out at her place this weekend, but I am going to opt for driving home every night because quite frankly I don't think I could spend the night in a tent in this weather and still be sane or civil the next day. Although I must say I have done it in years past when we have been camping.
My brother David is here with 2 of his 3 boys. Seth who is 3 and Grant who is 19mo. I sometimes forget how much time those little rug-rats can take. We picked them up and got home today by about 12:30. Fed them immediately.How do they ever get big based on what they eat is beside me! I remember Baby Prince picking at his food like that and yet he is a strapping 5-10 and 200+ now. Who knows!! After the meal which to me seemed flyby; all the toys that I in my wisdom had sense enough to save years ago were immediately everywhere. This can and does become dangerous, but no casualties. Then there is the issue of "Bob". Seth is completely obsessed with Bob. Bob is our 16yo cat. Is that like 102 in people years? I don't know, but I do know that he is old. Anyway, Seth picks him up and carries poor Bob everywhere. Bob hangs from his arms and has that look of "please save me" in his eyes. Bob even hangs upside down,bless his heart. I don't know if it's fear or what, well it is most likely fear, but Bob begins to shed his fur and when he gets the opportunity to leave those precious arms...Seth is COVERED in cat hair. So bad that his cloths have to be removed. Bob removes himself from the room and that is the last I see of him until about 2 hours ago. From whence he came, I know not! I'm pretty sure he'll be gone in the morning when he hears those sweet voices. Now somewhere in this time of chaos trying to get everyone settled and fed and worry about Bob, I had the brilliant idea that I was going to make hummus. I have had the beans soaking and the recipe out for a day or so now.  First step, boil the garbanzo beans. I put them on to boil, get the boys into their swim suits for swimming, head out the door, help Ms K set up the canopy over the pool and help fill the pool. I reenter the house for sunscreen...oh shit, what is that smell. Yep, burnt to the bottom of the pan garbanzo beans!!! No hummus this weekend! Whatever was I thinking that I could, at this age, remember more than one thing at a time. Who did I think I was kidding?!
Because of the heat we decide that getting wet was the way to go. I man the faucet. Ms K has purchased a baby pool for the boys and really, when it gets like this, boys or no boys Ms K likes to sit in the pool all by herself. Found the little slide from years ago and weeeeee...what fun everyone had. More water on the lawn and sidewalk and driveway than stayed in the pool but then again everyone stayed happy and cool and wet. Lots of laughing and smiling. Before I knew it, it was time for supper.
Soon after it's bath and bed time. The house is quiet and it gives me just a moment to remember how special these little rugrats are. They keep you on your toes and remind you that they are the future. I hope it is a good one that we leave for them. So innocent, inquisitive and inspiring. Oh that we could all be that way. Sleep tight little ones! WL

What are we doing?

This is one of those posts when I suppose you could say that I get on a soapbox. With the state of the world today, economy and tragedies that seem never to end, flooding,bad weather and in this state, a threatened shutdown, it really is disheartening to complain about anything. I mean really, where do you even start or should you even start in on anything. There are times when I want to whine about something but then I realize I have my health, I have my home, I can feed myself. Really, what is there to complain about?
On this particular day I am going to make comment on the fact that the news reported that at least 3, maybe it was 4 Planned Parenthood Clinics here in Mn. were going to be forced to shut their doors. They are seeing reduced funding because of rules and changes at the federal level. On every single article that I saw the article always said. "Planned Parenthood, largest provider of abortions..." then the article would go on to say which cities were closing the doors. I guess what makes me the maddest is that PP does so very much more. It provides education, health care for women that have no other options, birth control, family planning issues, screening of STD's.  Resources that would not otherwise be available to a vulnerable part of our population. And why? Because a vocal and misinformed part of the conservative population would have you believe that those who work in PP are doing nothing more than advising women to have abortions. The numbers just do not support that.
Sadly, this is an issue that arguing about with your neighbor will change no one's mind. The minds are already set. So then my questions and really I guess my issue is, how are those that are glad these clinics are closing proposing that we deal with the unwanted children? If we, as a society, don't want to support  the children and we want to cut welfare and aid programs, just exactly how are we going to help these families. If we can provide no access to family planning what are we going to do to help them once they have the children. If we can't give these women and children the help and support they need, why the hell would we want to stop providing birth control and healthy choice options?
I do not advocate abortion as a birth control choice. But I do advocate "choice". There are indeed options out there.Sadly one of them may be abortion. Having worked in an NICU I have seen the results of babies born to poor women and women who make poor choices. What I'm inclined to believe with these decisions is that if we can't help these women and say they deliver a premature infant because of mom's health issues or poor nutrition or poor health care, we will pay lots of tax dollars to have them be in the NICU. But I guess that's okay because they are alive. Yes, I know, I am now getting nasty and sarcastic.
Given the degree of prematurity and complications we're talking long-term financial issues that you and I the taxpayer will have to deal with.
I'm waiting for someone to come forward with a viable plan that will address the needs these women, families and children will have in lieu of the clinics closing. It sounds so simple, close the doors, wipe the hands and "Whew another life saved!" Another job completed. Another mission accomplished for the "right". Another success! Yes, doors are closed and for the politicians and the vocal pro-lifers a smug smile of success. But we will suffer. Yes we will. The young, the poor, those with no other options,they will suffer. There will be needless and senseless deaths from botched abortions. We will have families with unwanted children. We will pay, somewhere down the road, for these insane decisions.
That's my soapbox for today. My thoughts...my blog for today. What are we doing??? WL

My Mother

In my last post I commented on the fact that at this time I really couldn't think of any good female role models for today's young women. As of this writing I still have not found any, but then I have not been looking. I would however like to comment on a woman who has set the standard for how I live. That would be my mother, Joan. We celebrated her 82nd birthday this past Thur with a dinner at Red Lobster. 5 of her 7 daughters were there, her 2 sons and the other daughters were there in thought no doubt.
For how to live a life she has set the bar pretty high. She would argue otherwise but I beg to differ. Let me give a brief history of her and her life. She was born to a fairly well-to-do farmer in rural "Plaintown". She had aspirations to be an opera singer or so she told me once but realizing that would not happen, instead took a stab at nursing. For some reason she didn't pass a required physical and dropped out of college. Before I go on, I will tell you she had a beautiful voice. She sang at weddings and funerals. I wish her grand-kids could have heard her. As for nursing, having 9 kids, she did her share. Anyways, she met my dad when she was 17 and he 24 at a church function or maybe it was a bowling party! They married 2 weeks after her HS graduation. She just 19. They remained married 51yrs. until his death. I was the first of what would become a family of 9 children.  My dad was a farmer and life was hard. They were poor farmers. The babies, as near as I calculate, were born about 1 every 18mo. There are 15yrs between me and my youngest sister.  It wasn't easy being a farmer's wife. She worked hard but rarely did I hear her complain. I remember her helping with chores, preparing meals for the men working the fields and at harvesting times. As the oldest it was assumed that I would take on farm duties and I did so. I loved working outside but I also remember helping with laundry and hanging out clothes. I digress, sorry.  I guess what sticks the most was the dedication she had to family and church and her giving to others. In everything, church came first. We went every Sunday and on most church holidays. We were not Catholic but Lutheran, Mo. Synod. We went to parochial school. We were to remember that for everything, we were to say thanks to the Lord. As we grew up, we had devotions at every evening meal. Today she starts every day with a devotion and a Bible reading. For every bit of health and all things that happen in her life, she trusts that the Lord has a plan and she is in his hands. Would that I could be so trusting and faithful.
We were poor, but I remember her saying that every Sunday they gave their offering. She told us that we must repay the Lord for the many gifts he has given us. She has ALWAYS had faith that the Lord would meet her needs. It seems as though she is right. Even now when I know her money is tight. She meets her church pledge.
As for family, she loves us no matter what. She worked hard to make ends meet. She worked nights in a canning factory for over 30 yrs. While working nights and raising a family she also drove school bus. When our family barn burned and my dad had to quit farming there were new challenges. They were met.  I'm pretty sure none of us really has turned out as she might have envisioned. I think she said once, all she wanted was for us to be happy.  I, her oldest, am living a life that she could never have imagined, with another woman. Coming out to my parents was not easy given the "religious" connotations. But she and my dad were able to say, "You were given to us by the Lord. He loves all and we love you as well." When we had our son she was able to tell her friends that he was very much loved and wanted. 5 of  us have our college degrees. Myself not included, the remaining 8 married and all but two were subsequently divorced. 3 have remarried. She has never wavered in her love and support for any of us. No matter what, she has stood by.
We have had to admit to not being the "perfect" family. Though it looked like it for many years, a nasty divorce in the family caused a family split. It has been very painful. My mother grits it out and continues to give love, send gifts, visit,and attend events. And really, acts as a Christian should. If I were to wear a bracelet that says WWJD, it would be what would Joan do.
She is on the go all the time.Visiting, playing cards at the Sr. center, making bread and cookies and pies for events at the church and in town. Tying quilts, sewing, doing the books for the church ladies, teaching Bible classes, helping a granddaughter drive. I need a calendar to keep track of her.
She is an inspiration for me. She would tell you she is not perfect. She confessed to me she has had some bad thoughts about an ex daughter in law. Justified, but still it bothered her that it had happened. I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist of it. She has taught me to be who I am. To love others and treat them as I would want to be treated.She has shown me that you do not need lots of money to be happy or say your life is a success.  To forgive, even when it is extremely difficult to do so. But most of all she has taught me to trust, trust in the Lord, trust that there is a purpose and meaning for everything and that though we may not see it or understand it the Lord is guiding our way. I admit I sometimes have a problem with that but when I 'm around my mom and do things with her she exemplifies everything she believes in. And really, isn't that how we should live our life? WL

Oprah

I confess that though I have followed the career of Oprah I only rarely watched the show. But of course with her TV show ending and the big hype over the finale I jumped on the wagon and taped the last shows. I watched the shows tonight and now can only imagine everything I missed by not watching her show. I had tear drops and really, sat in amazement as I listened to some of the guests speak and watched pictures from her projects. What an amazing woman. How is it that these amazing women come into the world and leave these incredible marks? I mean, she has influenced women and men alike. But really, it's happening every day. People are leaving their marks somewhere and everywhere. It's like she said, we have to use what has been given to us and act on what is calling us. She is so humble and continues to give.
She has definitely had a positive influence on women and particularly young girls that have now become young women. Good for her. There are times when one does have to wonder who the role models of today are. Maybe I'm just behind the times, but I struggle to think of some women, right now, that I could say are role models. In this day and age, any one who tries to make a difference stands to be tweeted, facebooked and literally media picked to death. So much so that the message,project or goal or whatever it is never gets anywhere. Maybe I'll make it a project of mine to find some women that are making a difference.
I know someone tonight that was taking her 10 yr. old daughter and about 6 other 10 yr olds to Taylor Swift. Is that good or bad, I don't know what to think. If you're pretty and can sing that makes you great and you have lots of money and they want to be like her?? Or is it, you go girl! You've made it and you are doing it your way and you boys can kiss my you know what!! You can be whatever you want to be. I just don't know what to think.
This then takes me to another thought but I won't go there tonight. But, back to the beginning of this post, about Oprah and making a difference. I retired from working in an NICU. I don't know what my next step will be. I'm trying to figure that out. As I listened to Oprah and thought about my own career, I know that I made a difference. Cards and notes my friends gave me assured me of that. Maybe I didn't realize it at the time but I have no doubt about it now. Maybe what I'm trying to figure out is how I can continue to make a difference. Watching her leave one career and move to the next made me think about what my next step should be. We'll have to see. WL

A day with wood

Am getting ready to relax after a hard day of working with the wood. I love cutting wood and today Ms K and I cut up some very big pieces of oak that have been lying about. I love smelling oak as it is being cut. I can't get enough of it. Crazy I know. Once we got it cut up and put in the place where it can be split Ms K started on putting her pallets together for stacking. She is of course the stacking queen. She has all the pallets placed just so. She has the level out so they sit just right and everything is supported as it should be. A pile she has stacked has never fallen down and she has been doing it for quite a few years now. When it comes to stacking, I am just the lowly assistant. I do the splitting and piling among other things. As we worked, we were entertained by the antics of the cats. Rascal wanders about just looking to get into trouble and he likes to pick a fight with Jasmine. To his credit today concerning varmints, it was Rascal 1---Chipmunk 0. He is earning his keep.
Other thoughts on this beautiful day. Took this morning to compose a letter to the local editor in response to a gentleman who needed to voice his concern over gays being allowed to marry. He is concerned for the children and grandchildren. I maintained my composure and tried to make the point that children will do well no matter the type of parent.They need to feel they are loved and also feel secure. Why keep arguing and arguing over this point? I'd like to believe that in my lifetime I might be able to legally marry and I will voice my opinion over such, but the reality is there is so much division that I just think there are more important issues and concerns in this world right now. Of course some would argue that if you don't keep fighting for it people will think it not important and as a result not pursue it in earnest. Progress is being made but granted, it is slow. Why in my lifetime alone there have been so many changes. No more secret knocks to get into clubs and no fear of being arrested for where you might be eating or drinking. I  think the younger generation is much more accepting and open. Yes, I think eventually it will change.
Roasted brats over the fire and sat and enjoyed the cool evening air. It may feel cool tonight but after Tues when it was 102 I will just add a sweat shirt and enjoy the evening. And the air is full of the smell of cut oak! Yummmmm!!!! WL

A Day's Work

I need to figure out how to get some photos on my blog. I worked hard today mostly pulling weeds and cleaning out the back area of the house where I started planting hostas and other plants that like the shade. I'd like it if things were instantaneously filled in and beautiful, but it doesn't happen that way now does it?  In looking at parts of it now, it does look nice. Especially the area I planted 3 yrs ago. It really didn't take that long to fill in. I crab and complain and my hands hurt but it's not so bad when I look at everything at the end of the day. I was going to call it my memory garden and still do. I've put out some things that I've found that were a part of my youth.
Hidden behind some bleeding heart is an old typewriter. No one of a youthful age would even know what a typewriter is let alone how to use it. I rather like the computer keyboard and how easily it corrects errors and spelling. There are some milk cans out there that remind me of life on the farm when the milkman came and picked up the cans and took them to the creamery in town. I remember riding with "Rudy" as he made his  morning stops. My goodness what parent nowadays would let there daughter ride around with the milkman?!
There is a chicken waterer for baby chicks that we had. There is an old electric roaster. Oh, and I found some silo staves from our old silo at the family farm. I'm using them for steps and other things. So you see the gardens are a lot like my mind sometimes just wandering about.
What do I do while pulling and hoeing weeds you ask? Lately I've been into listening to classic country but sometimes I have on "Oldies but Goodies" and sometimes I listen to public radio. Lots of times I dream about what it will look like when done or what more I can put in. There are times when I get melancholy. Usually after spending too much time in the sun and I start to wonder, "What's it all for?" It's about this time when the cats find me and give me a boost. Or, a woodpecker drums nearby and makes me pause or like today, Ms K calls me to come see the bald eagle flying overhead but by the time I get my ass from a bending position and  moving, I've missed it. It would be wise at that point to stop for a beer but no, I carry on.

The weeding is done and tomorrow it will be time to mow. Always something isn't it? The weather was perfect today and will be tomorrow as well. Now, to figure out this picture thing. Well, it appears I have accomplished said mission. WL

Start of a journey

I begin this blog with trepidation, but then again there is absolutely nothing to be lost. I do so enjoy reading blogs although I must confess, there are so many out there that those I actually have viewed and followed are really quite limited. To spend hours following and reading gives one a sense of intimidation. Why put myself through that stress? What could I possibly have to say that hasn't already been said or at least thought of? Don't you sometimes think of that when you hear some music. I mean really, there should be a limited amount of ways the notes can be put together but still...new compositions arise all the time.
I've had this on my mind for some time, the idea to blog. What has delayed me? Well, the title has to be just so! Those that know me and have worked with me know that when I gave a talk or presentation I put a lot of emphasis on the title. Because after all, that is what is going to catch your eye and pull you in. What should the title be? Hmmmm.... Well, it is really all about me but then again I do have this partner here in the woods with me so would it be right to just call it Lady in the Wood? No, I don't think so.Thus the name: Ladies in the Woods.
Surprisingly,title not taken or maybe they don't really say it is or it isn't, they simply give you a way to find this particular post.
Next step, start the process. Ramble on and on or just take it slow. Let's try slow.Why me, why now? I have just started my 6th decade of living. 5 behind me and who knows, 5 to go.So, am I on the upswing or the downswing? I like to think they have been very successful. I also have recently retired from 31 years as an RN in an NICU (that's neonatal intensive care). 37 yrs as an RN. So have started that whole process of adapting to life at a different pace. I am learning to let go of "work" but struggling with not seeing co-workers on a daily basis. Missing teaching opportunities but knowing that I still have a lot to give.Getting used to the change in income and trying to figure out what to do next. As you read this, then you know, she has a hell of a lot to ramble on about!! And so I will. I tend to go on and on and on. These then will be my challenges: Keep it Simple Stupid, Just the Facts Ma'am, Tell Me More, and What the Hell Was That all About! Maybe I should also put Get Down off the Soapbox! Mmmm...one more, Don't Forget about Me. My history with journaling in the written form, with pen and bound journal, is good for about well lets just say I have a number of journals lying about with anywhere from a 6 month gap to a 20yr gap! The challenge is on.  Later my friends, WL (let's go with that rather than Wood Lady).Something different after 60 years of the same name and a variety of other titles.