My Mother

In my last post I commented on the fact that at this time I really couldn't think of any good female role models for today's young women. As of this writing I still have not found any, but then I have not been looking. I would however like to comment on a woman who has set the standard for how I live. That would be my mother, Joan. We celebrated her 82nd birthday this past Thur with a dinner at Red Lobster. 5 of her 7 daughters were there, her 2 sons and the other daughters were there in thought no doubt.
For how to live a life she has set the bar pretty high. She would argue otherwise but I beg to differ. Let me give a brief history of her and her life. She was born to a fairly well-to-do farmer in rural "Plaintown". She had aspirations to be an opera singer or so she told me once but realizing that would not happen, instead took a stab at nursing. For some reason she didn't pass a required physical and dropped out of college. Before I go on, I will tell you she had a beautiful voice. She sang at weddings and funerals. I wish her grand-kids could have heard her. As for nursing, having 9 kids, she did her share. Anyways, she met my dad when she was 17 and he 24 at a church function or maybe it was a bowling party! They married 2 weeks after her HS graduation. She just 19. They remained married 51yrs. until his death. I was the first of what would become a family of 9 children.  My dad was a farmer and life was hard. They were poor farmers. The babies, as near as I calculate, were born about 1 every 18mo. There are 15yrs between me and my youngest sister.  It wasn't easy being a farmer's wife. She worked hard but rarely did I hear her complain. I remember her helping with chores, preparing meals for the men working the fields and at harvesting times. As the oldest it was assumed that I would take on farm duties and I did so. I loved working outside but I also remember helping with laundry and hanging out clothes. I digress, sorry.  I guess what sticks the most was the dedication she had to family and church and her giving to others. In everything, church came first. We went every Sunday and on most church holidays. We were not Catholic but Lutheran, Mo. Synod. We went to parochial school. We were to remember that for everything, we were to say thanks to the Lord. As we grew up, we had devotions at every evening meal. Today she starts every day with a devotion and a Bible reading. For every bit of health and all things that happen in her life, she trusts that the Lord has a plan and she is in his hands. Would that I could be so trusting and faithful.
We were poor, but I remember her saying that every Sunday they gave their offering. She told us that we must repay the Lord for the many gifts he has given us. She has ALWAYS had faith that the Lord would meet her needs. It seems as though she is right. Even now when I know her money is tight. She meets her church pledge.
As for family, she loves us no matter what. She worked hard to make ends meet. She worked nights in a canning factory for over 30 yrs. While working nights and raising a family she also drove school bus. When our family barn burned and my dad had to quit farming there were new challenges. They were met.  I'm pretty sure none of us really has turned out as she might have envisioned. I think she said once, all she wanted was for us to be happy.  I, her oldest, am living a life that she could never have imagined, with another woman. Coming out to my parents was not easy given the "religious" connotations. But she and my dad were able to say, "You were given to us by the Lord. He loves all and we love you as well." When we had our son she was able to tell her friends that he was very much loved and wanted. 5 of  us have our college degrees. Myself not included, the remaining 8 married and all but two were subsequently divorced. 3 have remarried. She has never wavered in her love and support for any of us. No matter what, she has stood by.
We have had to admit to not being the "perfect" family. Though it looked like it for many years, a nasty divorce in the family caused a family split. It has been very painful. My mother grits it out and continues to give love, send gifts, visit,and attend events. And really, acts as a Christian should. If I were to wear a bracelet that says WWJD, it would be what would Joan do.
She is on the go all the time.Visiting, playing cards at the Sr. center, making bread and cookies and pies for events at the church and in town. Tying quilts, sewing, doing the books for the church ladies, teaching Bible classes, helping a granddaughter drive. I need a calendar to keep track of her.
She is an inspiration for me. She would tell you she is not perfect. She confessed to me she has had some bad thoughts about an ex daughter in law. Justified, but still it bothered her that it had happened. I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist of it. She has taught me to be who I am. To love others and treat them as I would want to be treated.She has shown me that you do not need lots of money to be happy or say your life is a success.  To forgive, even when it is extremely difficult to do so. But most of all she has taught me to trust, trust in the Lord, trust that there is a purpose and meaning for everything and that though we may not see it or understand it the Lord is guiding our way. I admit I sometimes have a problem with that but when I 'm around my mom and do things with her she exemplifies everything she believes in. And really, isn't that how we should live our life? WL